Transcript #1

> Alright , so shall we start this now?

* I'm ready , sir !

> Charming . This is Doctor Theodor Clementox and - - go on ,baby -

* Doctors assistant Elizabeth Clementox !

> This is the first un - official -(audible chuckle)- test of the unnamed neurological information transfer device.

> We are testing the primary simulated environment - garden3.2003 on the neurological system of Alfred - our house cat , bless him.

* Now ! There is no need to worry about the well-being of the animal , sadly our friend has been suffering from brain damage for a while now , so the test should not put him under any discomfort.

> I guess so ... if anything it's gonna improve the poor bastards life , he can barely do anything here with us.

> That's enough explaining , but not enough work . Would you start the program ... asistant ... ?

* Yes, sir!

- - MeowCatTransfer.2003 is booted at 2:30 PM 2003-02-18 - -

> Alright , now we begin the procedure by intercepting the cerebral cortex with the neurological transfer rods XE-1 AND RE-1

- - Audible discomfort is produced by the cat - -

>Ok , is it starting to upload on the screen?

* Not yet ... Nothing seems to be showing up.

>Really? How about now?

* It seems to be recognizing some brain function , but it is too minimal for a succesful upload .

> No, no , no . You're doing something wrong there , it worked fine before.

* Theodor , I am using the program exactly like we used it every time before this , it's just not uploading the cats data. It's too weak.

> Move , Elizabeth , just move.

-- MeowCatTransfer.2003 is shut down unexpectedly at 6:00 PM 2003-02-18 --

-- Transcript data lost from 3:00 PM 2003-02-18 to 6:15 PM 2003-02-18 --

> YOU STUPID BITCH ! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO MESS THINGS UP -

* Theodor , please , calm down , I had no idea it would do that. We can always try again .

> Of course we can ... And then we can try again and again and again and again until we are old fucks who can barely see their comptuer screens -

-- Audible door slam can be heard --

-- End of Transcript #1 --